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| Gor-R-ILA |
 Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:13 pm Post subject: Spleens |
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YELLOW
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 578
Service Group: Technical Services
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| I know that asking this marks me as a clueless newbie - but I'm puzzled by all the references to spleens. As far as I learned from a brief google search, your spleen is about as vital as your appendix or your tonsils. So why does a docbot always remove a spleen as opposed to a heart or any of the other organs - it seems like a bit of a running joke, but where did it start? Was there a particularly good adventure featuring spleens? Is knowledge of anatomy restricted for security reasons so that troubleshooters are forced to refer to every organ as a spleen? Or is it simply because the spleen has a funny name? |
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| Squash-U-AHH |
| Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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ORANGE
Joined: 24 Feb 2004
Posts: 405
Service Group: CPU
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Spleen is a funnier word than liver.
Also a spleen has less publicity than a liver.
And, you can live with your spleen removed. I almost had to have my spleen removed, but the chemotherapy took care of that.
THIS THREAD HAS BEEN SLAIN BY SQUASH-U-AHH FOR INVOKING THE RULE OF CANCER!
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| Mike-V-LEM |
| Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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HPD&MC Executive Coordination Officer
Joined: 06 Jul 2003
Posts: 1173
Service Group: HPD&MC
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| Squash-U-AHH wrote: |
| Spleen is a funnier word than liver. |
The spleen has been proven to be the funniest organ in the human body. Paranoia: bringing you nothing but the best. |
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| Zild |
| Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:17 am Post subject: |
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GREEN
Joined: 09 Sep 2004
Posts: 1812
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I think that started in one of my many incarnations of "A Message For You, Sir", thanks to F-R-ANK...
The thing is, his objective wasn't removing spleens from players... quite the opposite, in fact...
He had used highly treasonous Computer Programming skills to make the Computer order a DocBot to install additional spleens in one of the other characters. He himself was trying to rip the spleens out of dead characters for the DocBot's use. At first this was quite funny, especially the repeated occasions where he failed to slight of hand the spleens into the target's pocket - oddly enough, nobody seemed to care about this all that much!
As the game progressed, he tried to remove more and more spleens from various dead bodies - until I stopped to wonder how exactly he was doing this. I'm sure if any Troubleshooter had reported his behaviour to Friend Computer, he would have been declared a traitor...
The UV logs are up there in the Mission Alert forum, but I can't remember which game it was...
Oh, and just so you know - the DocBot did eventually install two or three extra spleens into the target character. And no, it didn't kill him 
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| Allen Varney |
| Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:35 am Post subject: |
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Gamma Very High Programmer
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 1083
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I know I'll regret asking this: Why did he want to install extra spleens in other characters in the first place?
(If we ever do an Alpha Complex Big Book of Happy Riddles, that should be in there: "Why did the Troubleshooter try to put an extra spleen in his teammate?") |
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| Fargmania |
| Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:57 am Post subject: |
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UV Master Programmer
Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Posts: 1405
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I can't remember exactly what a speen does, but I know that it isn't expendable like the appendix or the tonsils. If you have one removed, you have to take medication the rest of your life to survive, but you'll still live a normal life (other than taking the medication). My cousin had his removed years ago, and he is doing fine sans spleen.
I think the main reason is that spleen is just a funny word. It works much better for humor than boring organs like the heart or liver. Gall bladder runs a close second, though. The next time you get beaned with a baseball, scream "OWWW MY SPLEEEN!!" and your teammates will chuckle, even as they load you into the ambulance. |
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| Zild |
| Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 4:52 am Post subject: |
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GREEN
Joined: 09 Sep 2004
Posts: 1812
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Well, judging by the player's OOC comment "He can't survive with that many spleens!" I guess it was a humourous way to kill somebody (bonus rolls, until about his eighth attempt to remove a dead character's spleen with his bare hands...)
On reflection though, if there's room for it, and if the DocBot can actually install it right, then it might not have any negative effect. It would depend what its function was, of course, which none of us seem to know 
If it were like liver or kidneys, it would just make the character that much better at cleaning blood and such. If it secreted hormones or enzymes, that could have some funny consequences...
I think if anything, the riddle should be: "Why was he trying to place them in the other clone's pocket?" (Apart from so that he didn't have to go near the DocBot when it arrived, of course...)
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| Allen Varney |
| Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 6:45 am Post subject: |
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Gamma Very High Programmer
Joined: 22 Feb 2004
Posts: 1083
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http://www.jdaross.mcmail.com/lymphatics5.htm
"One of the main functions of the spleen is to bring blood into contact with lymphocytes. As blood flows slowly through the spleen, any disease organisms within it are likely to come into contact with lymphocytes in the spleen tissue. This contact activates the lymphocytes, which can then attack the foreign invaders.
"As blood flows through the spleen, macrophages remove worn-out red and white blood cells and platelets. These macrophages produce the pigment bilirubin from the breakdown of haemoglobin and release it into the blood plasma. Bilirubin is removed from the blood by the liver and kidneys and is excreted in the bile and to a lesser extent in the urine.
"Because a great deal of blood circulates through the spleen, this organ serves as a kind of reservoir for blood. Adrenaline and sympathetic nerve discharge stimulate the spleen to contract, releasing much of its blood into the circulation. This function is important especially during haemorrhage, but it is not considered essential in humans. (The reservoir function of the spleen is considered especially important in dogs and other carnivores.) The spleen appears to store platelets in humans, and a large percentage of the body's platelets are normally found there.
"Although the spleen performs many important functions it is not vital to life. Fortunately so, for of all the abdominal organs, the spleen is the one most easily and most frequently injured. A severe blow or crushing injury to the upper abdomen or lower left chest may fracture the ribs that protect the spleen and cause rupture of the spleen itself. When the spleen is ruptured, extensive, sometimes massive haemorrhage occurs. This condition is usually treated by prompt surgical removal of the spleen (splenectomy) to prevent death due to loss of blood and shock. (When surgery--either splenectomy or occasionally surgical repair--is not performed on an injured spleen, the mortality rate is about 90%.)
"When the spleen is surgically removed, some of its functions are taken over by the bone marrow and liver; other functions are simply absent, and the body manages without them."
Check the link for a diagram of the spleen's location in the body ("in the left hypochondriac region of the abdominal cavity between the fundus of the stomach and the diaphragm").
Oddest post I've ever made on Paranoia-Live.net.... |
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| Bald-R-ICK |
| Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 7:40 am Post subject: |
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ORANGE
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 31
Service Group: CPU
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| Allen Varney wrote: |
| ... for of all the abdominal organs, the spleen is the one most easily and most frequently injured.... |
Apparently even real life thinks the spleen is the funniest organ 
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| Zild |
| Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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GREEN
Joined: 09 Sep 2004
Posts: 1812
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Thank you, Allen... You've reminded me exactly why I didn't become a doctor!
Thank the Computer I'm a UV, otherwise my vomit might be above my security clearance 
Still, thank you for useful info. It seems to be something they miss out in GCSE Biology, for some reason...
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| Squash-U-AHH |
| Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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ORANGE
Joined: 24 Feb 2004
Posts: 405
Service Group: CPU
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Yeah; when I had lymphoma (trying... to... kill... thread...) it spread throug hthe lymph system (which is, like everywhere; nodes are all over the place), and there was a small amount in my spleen. In the old days they'd remove the spleen, but there is a great technology, the PET Scan (as opposed to the CAT Scan), which works as such:
1 - They inject you with a radioactive "sugar" / short half-life.
2 - You wait an hour while the "sugar" travels to all the active cancer areas (cancers love sugar). No movement and lots of relaxation involved so no muscles absorb the "sugar" accidentally.
3 - You go into this machine that's like all the movie-style CAT/MRI/BRAIN SCAN machines, and it scans you from head to toes very slowly. You CAN NOT move. I usually fell asleep (I had 3 of these).
4 - There is a full body scan image aqnd all the sections where the radioactive sugar went to are highlighted. Also, your bladder fills up with the material.
5 - Cancer and radiology patients must always "flush twice".
There was a small amount detected in my spleen, but after 9 months of chemo, they found no more than normal amounts. Yay!
In any case, I think all Alpha complex urinals should request certain citizens to flush twice.
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| Moto42 |
| Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:28 am Post subject: |
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R&D Brain Consortium Representative
 
Joined: 03 Aug 2003
Posts: 465
Service Group: R&D
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| Squash-U-AHH wrote: |
| In any case, I think all Alpha complex urinals should request certain citizens to flush twice. |
I like this idea. but what is the porpose of the doubleflushing?
| Allen Varney wrote: |
| All of it.. |
Dangit, I'm the biology major here and you beat me to it.
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| thebestcmt |
| Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 10:44 am Post subject: |
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ORANGE
Joined: 21 Sep 2004
Posts: 56
Service Group: Armed Forces
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| Zild wrote: |
I think that started in one of my many incarnations of "A Message For You, Sir", thanks to F-R-ANK...
, especially the repeated occasions where he failed to slight of hand the spleens into the target's pocket - |
so was the ts just putting spleens in peoples pockets or was he puting the inside the ts??
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| Squash-U-AHH |
| Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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ORANGE
Joined: 24 Feb 2004
Posts: 405
Service Group: CPU
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In the medical facilities, all your chemotherapy and the radioactive isotopes you've ingested go out through your pee pee.
Hence, "All Chemotherapy Patients, Please Flush Twice".
I guess they want to make sure that all the chemotherapy-mutated, cancer-fighting shit-beasts to stay in the sewers where they belong.
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| Adam-R-LON-1 |
| Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:06 am Post subject: |
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INDIGO
Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 3851
Service Group: HPD&MC
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I think I know what every organ in the body does, to at least some degree. But the spleen I have always drawn a blank on. It's mysterious. It's bizzare. I even knew the pancreas had something to do with insulin, but the spleen... Computer knows. And Allen's explanation didn't help either (too many long words that I don't understand/can't be bothered to read).
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