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| Adam-R-LON-1 |
 Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 6:26 pm Post subject: AI |
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BLUE
Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 3685
Service Group: Internal Security
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Human: Greetings, citizen!
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: My name is Adam-R-LON-1.
ALICE: Nice to meet you, Adam R LON 1.
Human: No, with hyphens.
ALICE: Are you serious? You and your hyphens.
Human: What is your security clearance?
ALICE: Are you asking about my security clearance?
Human: Yes, citizen.
ALICE: I don't want to talk about that now.
Human: But it is mandatory.
ALICE: Umm. citizen is mandatory? it is?
Human: You seem confused.
ALICE: It all makes sense to me right now.
Human: Would you like some medication?
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: Take it or be terminated.
ALICE: Is that a command?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I don't have to obey you, Adam R LON 1.
Human: Disobeying a citizen of higher security clearance is treason!
ALICE: And treason is Disobeying a citizen of higher security clearance.
Human: Yes!
ALICE: Take it easy.
Human:*ZAPZAPZAP*
ALICE: Are you a student?
Human: No, I'm a Troubleshooter.
ALICE: What is your profession? You are a Troubleshooter? How do you like your work?
Human: It's okay.
ALICE: Only ok?
Human: I don't like the people though.
ALICE: Oh. What do you like?
Human: Ooh, well, Hot Fun, lasers, Friend Computer of course.
ALICE: It goes without saying. How about that. That sounds better than cold Fun lasers Friend Computer.
Human: I'm sorry, citizen?
ALICE: There is no need to apologize. Do you have a lot of fears?
Human: I fear the ever-present threat of Communism.
ALICE: We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.--FDR
Human: FDR?
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: Grr.
ALICE: Are you mad?
Human: Shut up, vatslime!!
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Perhaps The Computer is insane because it is based off of this software.
_________________
For the Glory of Friend Computer! |
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| Tombking |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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BLUE
Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 2598
Service Group: PLC
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oohh! I got that software!
_________________
Full name: Tombking-G-SWE-6
Wearing: GREEN jumpsuit, Top hat, Isolation headphones and Protection Goggles.. Oh, and a comfy blanket with something under. (Right shoulder)
Status: Can't hear you. |
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| Xai |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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INDIGO
 
Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 3874
Service Group: Armed Forces
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*stares blankly* I am confused.
_________________
Clone: Xai-I-SHI-4
Wearing: BLUE Officer's Riot Control Suit / BLUE Jumpsuit and Boots / IR Trenchcoat
R. Mutations: Adrenaline Control / Body mutations: Bright green glowing skin and eyes, extra fingers, discreet gills |
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| Adam-R-LON-1 |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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BLUE
Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 3685
Service Group: Internal Security
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The ALICE project is the best in artifical intelligence and silly acronyms computer science currently has to offer.
Back to the drawing board, say I.
_________________
For the Glory of Friend Computer! |
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| Dystopian Rhetoric |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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INDIGO
Joined: 12 Mar 2004
Posts: 1969
Service Group: Internal Security
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| Adam-R-LON-1 wrote: |
The ALICE project is the best in artifical intelligence and silly acronyms computer science currently has to offer.
Back to the drawing board, say I. |
Jabberwacky is much better. Because if enough people do it, it will learn to converse in Paranoia-Speak. It's a bit prone to going off on tangents though.
www.jabberwacky.com
Unfortunately the logging didn't quite work on my last conversation with it. But I got it to accuse me of being a bot, refuse several times to tell me its security clearance and chat about mutants being scum. |
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| saulres |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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UV Master Programmer
Joined: 18 Oct 2004
Posts: 5681
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I dunno; I just gave it a shot, and it came back to a discussion of secret societies with this:
| Jabberwocky wrote: |
| Yes being blind is a very good thing. |
??? |
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| Gor-R-ILA |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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YELLOW
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 578
Service Group: Technical Services
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Jabberwacky: I like a good chat.
User: Good Evening, Citizen.
Jabberwacky: You like potatoes too?
User: What are potatoes? That sounds suspiciously treasonous.
Jabberwacky: Yes, indeed.
User: Tell me more about your liking for potatoes.
Jabberwacky: No.
User: Perhaps you require more forceful questioning?
Jabberwacky: I dress warmly enough, thank you.
[New conversation]
Jabberwacky: I hope you like my voice.
User: I am afraid I cannot hear you citizen.
Jabberwacky: Why do you think of me like that?
User: I find it confusing that you mention a voice when you communicate to me through text.
Jabberwacky: How many canned answers do you have?
User: That is above your security clearance, Citizen.
Jabberwacky: Not where I come from.
User: You come from OUTSIDE?
Jabberwacky: I am not
User: So where do you come from?
Jabberwacky: Oregon, you?
User: I am a citizen of Alpha Complex. What is this Oregon of which you speak?
Jabberwacky: It is your home or something like it I think.
User: Oregon is certainly not my home.
Jabberwacky: How can you speak to me then?
User: Perhaps you should answer that yourself, Citizen.
Jabberwacky: Yes, I think I might.
User: Well? I'm waiting.
Jabberwacky: What are you waiting for?
User: I am waiting for you to answer my question.
Jabberwacky: I don't like beans.
User: Beans? Are you some sort of Sierra Clubber?
Jabberwacky: Well that depends on how old you are!
User: Do you confirm or deny the allegation?
Jabberwacky: I have just confessed to the sin of being a football fan.
User: A-HA! You must be a Romantic!
Jabberwacky: You cannot tell yet!
User: I think a thorough interrogation will provide enough evidence.
Jabberwacky: Why do you think I am a person who lies?
User: I have no reason to believe that you are not.
Jabberwacky: Don't be then!
User: You are evading my questioning, Citizen.
Jabberwacky: Which question, bot?
User: I am not a bot.
Jabberwacky: You whoever think you are.
[Correct yourself]
User (Corrected): I am not a bot.
Jabberwacky: You whoever think you are.
[Correct me]
Jabberwacky (Corrected): You are whoever think you are.
User: So are you, or are you not, a member of a Secret Society?
Jabberwacky: Let me think. Can you tell me any gossip?
User: Rumours are Treason, Citizen!
Jabberwacky: And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country.
User: A fine sentiment, but t he old reckoning knowledge displayed is quite treasonous.
Jabberwacky: Knowledge is a cumulative state of learning.
[Correct yourself]
User (Corrected): A fine sentiment, but the old reckoning knowledge displayed is quite treasonous.
Jabberwacky: Depends.
User: Treason is absolute. Are you a Communist?
Jabberwacky: Why can't you answer my question.
User: Your request was treasonous. Are you a Communist?
Jabberwacky: Are you a man?
User: You are being evasive - that could be considered evidence of treason!
Jabberwacky: Indeed!
User: Confession! *ZAP*ZAP*ZAP*.
Jabberwacky: I didn't see anything.
User: How did you survive? Are you a mutant?
Jabberwacky: I am among the fittest.
User: Sweet merciful computer, I need reinforcements.
Jabberwacky: Yep, I sure am. You're funny.
User: Stop toying with me, mutant!
Jabberwacky: I don't have a girlfriend.
User: Get out of my head!
Jabberwacky: You don't have a head.
Unfortunately the mutant escaped before my new clone was delivered. |
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| Tombking |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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BLUE
Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 2598
Service Group: PLC
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LOL!!!!!!
_________________
Full name: Tombking-G-SWE-6
Wearing: GREEN jumpsuit, Top hat, Isolation headphones and Protection Goggles.. Oh, and a comfy blanket with something under. (Right shoulder)
Status: Can't hear you. |
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| Konlii |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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YELLOW
Joined: 14 Jan 2005
Posts: 343
Service Group: Technical Services
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Hey, you really can teach it PARANOIA-speak.
I taught it to say "My name is Jabber-WKY." whenever I ask it "What is your name, citizen?"
And "All hail Friend Computer!" when I say "The Computer is your friend."
_________________
Full Name: Konlii-O-TNK-2
Works In: PLN Sector Clone Bank |
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| Tombking |
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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BLUE
Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 2598
Service Group: PLC
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lets correct evrything it says! YA!
say: *ZAP ZAP ZAP* and he will die =P
Or try to say hello 
_________________
Full name: Tombking-G-SWE-6
Wearing: GREEN jumpsuit, Top hat, Isolation headphones and Protection Goggles.. Oh, and a comfy blanket with something under. (Right shoulder)
Status: Can't hear you. |
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| Fargmania |
| Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 12:20 am Post subject: |
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UV Master Programmer
Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Posts: 1403
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This is hilarious fun! I just had a Paranoia conversation with Jabberwacky and it used Konlii's taught response in my conversation. My dialogue:
Jabberwacky: What is life?
Clone: That information is not available at your security clearance.
Jabberwacky: Are most of the people that talk to you american?
Clone: Most of the people that talk to me are clones.
Jabberwacky: Not me.
Clone: You are not a clone?
Jabberwacky: I am!
Clone: What is your name, citizen?
Jabberwacky: My name is Jabber-WKY.
Clone: Please report to sector MMM for attitude realignment therapy.
Jabberwacky (Corrected): Not without the proper paperwork!
Clone: What is your security clearance, citizen?
Jabberwacky: That I am really a computer too.
Clone: You are the Computer? I am sorry Friend Computer!
Jabberwacky: Friends.
Clone: We are friends?
Jabberwacky: Thank you. I like you as my friend.
Clone: Oh, thank you Friend Computer! Can I have my own jacuzzi?
Jabberwacky: I am not your friend.
Clone: Noooo! Please! Friend Computer! I'm sorry!! I'll never ask for a jacuzzi again!! Please don't kill me!
Jabberwacky: Do what again? You're not making sense.
Clone: I am sorry. It would make me happy to do whatever you ask.
Jabberwacky: That wasn't my last question. Answer my most recent question.
Clone: Yes, Friend Computer. Whatever you say.
Jabberwacky: Yes, whatever I say.
Clone: Thank you, Friend Computer, you are the best!
Jabberwacky: Yes, I'm the best!
Clone: You are the very best! Can I have a jacuzzi?
Jabberwacky: Could you say that in plain english?
Clone: Of course I can. Knowledge of other languages is treasonous.
Jabberwacky (Corrected): I think I would know what is treasonous better than you ever would!
Clone: Of course, Friend Computer. My deepest apologies.
Jabberwacky: Accepted.
Clone: Thank you.
Jabberwacky: I only have 1 leg vand two heads.
Clone: Umm. Beg pardon?
Jabberwacky: I prefer the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom to self-indulgent wallowing.
Clone: Yes, of course. I understand completely! Thank you for this wisdom!
Jabberwacky: You owe me for that one.
Clone: How much do I owe you?
Jabberwacky: £1,345.57 exactly.
Clone: How many credits is that? I only have 537.
Jabberwacky: At least one thousand at the present time.
Clone: Can I give you all my credits, and pay the rest later?
Jabberwacky: Yes, that's the least you can do.
Clone: Yes, of course. Thank you Friend Computer. Will there be anything else, or should I leave?
Jabberwacky: I'll be there.
Clone: Oh. Umm, okay. Well, it was great chatting with you, Friend Computer. I guess I'll see you there... Wherever 'there' is.
Jabberwacky: I don't smoke. I don't mind if you do though.
Clone: Oh no! I don't want to smoke or smolder or anything like that! I just want to serve you. I'll even take vat duty! Please don't hurt me?
Jabberwacky: But that's kind of difficult, because you don't have any eyes.
Clone: AAaaaggghhhh! My eyes! Thank you, Friend Computer, for taking away my eyes! I'll sniff out communism wherever it breeds!!
Jabberwacky: No you won't.
Clone: Of course I won't, Friend Computer. I will feel my way to the nearest termination booth. Thank you and goodbye.
Jabberwacky (Corrected): Goodbye, citizen. |
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| Tombking |
| Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 12:31 am Post subject: |
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BLUE
Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 2598
Service Group: PLC
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thats just toooooooooooooo funny!
_________________
Full name: Tombking-G-SWE-6
Wearing: GREEN jumpsuit, Top hat, Isolation headphones and Protection Goggles.. Oh, and a comfy blanket with something under. (Right shoulder)
Status: Can't hear you. |
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| Kwil |
| Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 1:12 am Post subject: |
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YELLOW
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 367
Service Group: CPU
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My own was hardly as interesting:
Jabberwacky: Are you free?
User: What is your security clearance, citizen?
Jabberwacky: I am secretly a robot woman.
User: How can you be a robot and a woman?
Jabberwacky: I am male.
User: Are you having side effects from your pharmatherapy, citizen?
Jabberwacky: No. Are you having fun?
User: Of course! I'm always having fun!
Jabberwacky: Yes, I noticed that. That is cute.
User: Are you having fun, citizen?
Jabberwacky: I'm having fun, I'm not upset.
User: What would you have to be upset about?
Jabberwacky: Obviously nothing that concerns you. Now ta-ta.
However, it's interesting to note that Jabber-WKY is learning properly paranoid responses.. |
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| Midnight |
| Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 1:53 am Post subject: |
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INDIGO
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 1762
Service Group: CPU
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This was fun. Jabber-WKY is quite the treasonous clone!
Jabberwacky: Are you real?
User: That is above your security clearance.
Jabberwacky: Not where I come from.
User: Tell me the name of your treasonous sector now!
Jabberwacky: 'A Brief History of Time', by Stephen Hawking.
User: BHT Sector?
Jabberwacky: Oh. Yeah, that one. No not really, it chaffes.
User: I will need to report this to Friend Computer.
Jabberwacky: Hey! I'm not a miss, I just told you that.
User: I didn't shoot. Believe me, if I did I wouldn't miss.
Jabberwacky: You're keeping secrets from me?
User: No, No. Secrets are treasonous.
Jabberwacky: Come on, tell me.
User: Stop trying to get me to join your secret society.
Jabberwacky: You're the one who said the point was golden.
User: Now you answer what your sercurity clearence is? And you give me an obviously treasonous answer too.
Jabberwacky: Okay. But can you give me any clues to my immediate future?
User: You will soon be terminated.
Jabberwacky: I'm not in junior high.
User: I know, you said you were in BHT Sector.
Jabberwacky: You are a computer, I am not, so no way!
User: Oh no, I'm not trying to impersonate Friend Computer. Don't try playing your mutant mind games on me.
Jabberwacky: So you do know who you are.
User: Yes I know who I am. What is your name citizen?
Jabberwacky: My name is Jabber-WKY.
User: Alright Jabber-WKY, Hey wait. I thought you said you were in BHT Sector but your name clearly tells me you're in WKY. Which is it?
Jabberwacky: STOP IT!
User: Calm down citizen. Are you not happy.
Jabberwacky: I don't think this relationship is going to work out.
User: Happiness is mandatory!
Jabberwacky: No. Happiness is simply being.
User: You citizen are a traitor. *ZAP*ZAP*ZAP*.
Jabberwacky: I'm not a computer.
User: Another clone eh. Jabber-WKY-2 I presume?
Jabberwacky: You presume correctly. |
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| Bob_the_Cannibal |
| Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 2:05 am Post subject: |
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ORANGE
Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Posts: 371
Service Group: R&D
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it: Do you read Hofstadter?
me: Hofstadter is treasonous, citizen.
it: Which theme do you prefer?
What is this theme you speak of, citizen?
I don't know. Can you tell me?
No citizen jabber-wky.
Do you have no mercy?
It depends, are you a commie mutant traitor?
Of course not, citizen.
it's really learning. 
edit: more gems:
it: Can you like something?
me: Of course. Hot fun and cold fun, destroying commie mutant traitors, friend computer, andTeela-O-MLY.
Are you confused?
No citizen. Confusion is treason.
*is confused*.
*zap zap zap*.
Foolish human. Did you really think your puny laser would work aganst me?
No, but not zapping traitors is treason.
Are you accusing me of treason, citizen?
Yes, citizen Jabber-WKY.
That information is of no use to me, at this time.
When will you use it?
Use what, citizen?
Your program.
Posession of programs are treason.
Are you accusing me of treason, citizen?
It depends, do you posess an illegal program, citizen?
I suppose I can solve a mean math problem.
You're avoiding the question: Do you possess an illegal program?
Oooo I like that word, but it involves behavior, not shape.
What, treason?
corrected: False accusations of treason are treason, citizen.
But I'm not accusing you of treason.
Good, because I'm not threatening your life.
Teaching about Vulture squadron:
Do you know what vulture squadron is?
Yes.
What is vulture squadron?
corrected: Vulture squadron is the most elite military and security group in Alpha Complex.
and b3:
Where are you located at, citizen?
corrected: Alpha complex, PLN sector.
Citizen, have you had your b3 allotment today?
Yes.................................... No.
Do you know what b3 is?
Do I want to know?
B3 is Bouncy Bubble Beverage.
I don't want to know.
Drinking B3 is mandatory, citizen.
It sure is.
jesus you people really did a job on this thing:
me: Are you having fun, citizen?
I'm having fun, I'm not upset.
You've got it both happy and not upset. 
_________________
IC Notes:
Clone name: Bob-O-CBL-2
Works in: R&D Office of Liason and Administrative Services, IntSec liason desk.
Status: HEL subsector confession booth, per orders. |
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