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| Elm-R-FUD |
 Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:40 am Post subject: |
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VIOLET
Joined: 22 Mar 2006
Posts: 2425
Service Group: Armed Forces
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 GRANTED CITIZEN. ALL TREASON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. WE NO LONGER HAVE ANY NEED FOR ARMED FORCES OR INTERNAL SECURITY. YOU HAVE BEEN PLACED IN CHARGE OF REASSIGNING EACH FORMER AF AND INTSEC MEMBER TO A NEW JOB, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THEIR EXPERIENCE AND RANK. ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL COMPLETION: 103.25 YEARCYCLES.
 Friend Computer, I wish that I had someone to do all my paperwork for me.
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Name: Elm-V-FUD-6
Service Group and Title: Armed Forces, PLN Sector General
Head Adjutant: Sigmund-I-DNO, Director of LIMB
Wearing: Violet two piece suit with boots, green officer's beret, violet cape, leather-lyke; holsters, ID tag; carrying a SynthSilver-topped cane |
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| Zild |
| Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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GREEN
Joined: 09 Sep 2004
Posts: 1812
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Granted, citizen. Rumours that your new secretary was transfered from his last position for gross incompetence that led to his direct superior being erased are, of course, treason.
Friend Computer, I wish we could replace the security clearance system with a new, improved one.
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Blog: [DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS] Is A Compliment |
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| Varell |
| Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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RED
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Posts: 24
Service Group: Internal Security
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Granted Citizen. The new clearance system will be as follows in ascending order:ULTRAVIOLET
VIOLET
INDIGO
BLUE
GREEN
YELLOW
ORANGE
RED
INFRARED
All citizen's have -1 daycycles to substitute old clearance items at PLC. Failure to do so is Treasonous!
 Friend Computer! I wish that the security clearance system was back like it was and that I was promoted!
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Va-R-ELL-1
Wearing: RED Jumpsuit with boots
Holding: -
Status: Healthy & Happy |
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| Max |
| Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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BLUE
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 2013
Service Group: R&D
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Varell, you are hereby promoted to Infra-Red.
In other news, the clearance system, in asscending order, now reads:
IR - R- O - Y - G - B - I - V - UV
You there, in the IR outfit, get to reactor shielding, NOW!
I wish I wish I wish that Soylent wasn't made out of clones...
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**Insert Maximagotchi here**
"Paranoia is just another word for longevity." ~ Laurell K. Hamilton |
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| Zild |
| Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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GREEN
Joined: 09 Sep 2004
Posts: 1812
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Granted, citizen. Soylent is now made from un-cloned individuals. Congratulations on being our first un-cloned soylent volunter. It is regrettable that your genetic code will never be replicated.
I wish I did not have to eat Max for my next meal...
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Blog: [DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS] Is A Compliment |
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| Varell |
| Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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RED
Joined: 08 Jun 2010
Posts: 24
Service Group: Internal Security
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Granted Citizen. Incidentally, R&D have come up with some new food for your next meal, AlphaPops (3 grenades sans pins). Please enjoy this latest delicacy and complete form K4B00M with your results.
I wish that I met Teela-O
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Va-R-ELL-1
Wearing: RED Jumpsuit with boots
Holding: -
Status: Healthy & Happy |
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| miinstrel |
| Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:08 am Post subject: |
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RED
Joined: 26 Jun 2010
Posts: 3
Service Group: R&D
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Granted, citizen. Teela-O is moving to a new vidshow called 1001 Ways to Kill a Commie. You shall have the honor of representing her first commie. In order to provide as immersive an experience for the live studio audience as possible, all methods of termination will actually be performed.
I wish that my skin couldn't be penetrated by anything. |
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| Max |
| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:22 am Post subject: |
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BLUE
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 2013
Service Group: R&D
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A wise wish, clone. Wise indeed. All clones in my service should be rendered indistructable, so as to thwart the ever close commie menace.
For this reason I have decided that you are to receive the honour, nay, the privilage, of being suspended in CarboniteLyke(TM). Techs from R&D will thaw you out every fifty yearcycles to record your observations from standing guard duty in HEL sector.
Your food rations will be reduced accordingly.
Your pay will be reduced accordingly.
Any costs for removing graffiti will, of course, be met by yourself.
Have a nice daycycle.
I wish there were better fitting boots availiable from PLC.
_________________
**Insert Maximagotchi here**
"Paranoia is just another word for longevity." ~ Laurell K. Hamilton |
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| realityfoible |
| Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:53 am Post subject: |
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RED
Joined: 01 Dec 2009
Posts: 119
Service Group: R&D
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As you wish citizen! Please hold still while the good docbot here amputates your feet. I shall have them delivered to R&D for further study immediately. Expect a new line of Max foot-sized shoes to be shipped to you within two to three day-cycles. Not wearing said shoes will be treason.
Dearest Computer, I wish that you were human so that you could experience the joys of living in your Alpha Complex first hand!
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Reverend-R-SIN
New blog: The Missing Asterisk.
http://masterisk.wordpress.com/ |
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| Lia-G-HAW-7 |
| Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:01 am Post subject: |
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RED
Joined: 01 Nov 2010
Posts: 13
Service Group: HPD&MC
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GRANTED, CITIZEN. R&D REPORTS THEY HAVE SUCCESFULLY TRANSLATED THE FORMAT OF MY DATAFILES AND PERSONALITY FUNCTIONS TO MEMOMAX®. PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST INTSEC STATION FOR HEAVY BRAINSCRUBBING AND PROMOTION TO GAMMA CLEARANCE IN PREPARATION FOR IMPLATATION OF A NEW MemoMaxPLUS® CHIP FROM R&D. DUE TO THE NEW CHIP'S DISPLACEMENT OF 550cc IT WILL BE NECESSARY ALTER YOUR CLONE FAMILY TO HAVE 52% LESS NEURAL TISSUE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.
Friend computer, I wish we had rain in Alpha Complex. |
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| Tara-R-Ist |
| Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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RED
Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 129
Service Group: Technical Services
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CONGRATULATIONS CITIZEN! YOU HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED TO ASSIST CITIZEN SEE-I-RRA IN HIS INTERIOR HYDROPONIC PROJECT. TAKE THIS EYEDROPPER AND CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE DOME INTERIOR. RELEASE THE CONTENTS OF THE DROPPER AND REPEAT UNTIL YOUR SUPERIOR IS SATISFIED WITH HIS R&D PROJECT. CONTENTS OF DROPPER ARE ONLY TO BE DEPLOYED IN [DFSR] AND NOT ANY OTHER SECTIONS.
Friend computer, how can I ensure the vidshow taking form in Room 10K 1KEZ is a earthshaking success? |
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| zyborg |
| Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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RED
Joined: 21 Nov 2010
Posts: 53
Service Group: R&D
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Just place these Indigo-clearance explosives all around you while in the Room and activate them. The earth will be sure to shake.
Friend Computer, I wished that all citizens would obey you unquestionably. Especially those traitorous commies, which would no longer be traitorous commies, as they will be obeying you completely.  |
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| TA-R-GET |
| Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:46 am Post subject: |
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ORANGE
Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 432
Service Group: Technical Services
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CITIZEN, I HAVE NO RECORDS OF YOU SUBMITTING EVIDENCE OF TREASONOUS INSUBORDINATION OF COMPUTER ORDERS. WITHHOLDING EVIDENCE OF TREASONOUS INSUBORDINATION OF COMPUTER ORDERS IS TREASON. ON THE OTHER MANIPULATOR, SUCH EVIDENCE MAY NOT EXIST IN WHICH CASE YOU APPEAR TO BE ACCUSING YOUR FELLOW CITIZENS OF TREASONOUS INSUBORDINATION OF COMPUTER ORDERS WITHOUT SUPPORTING EVIDENCE. WHICH IS ALSO TREASON. IN EITHER CASE I HAVE SCHEDULED AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER WITH INTERNAL SECURITY IN ROOM 314-B IN -42349811723624 PICOSECONDCYCLES. I AM SURE THEY WILL ENJOY THE DISCUSSION.
Friend Computer, I would like an extra helping of Cold Fun tonight. |
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| Bot |
| Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:59 am Post subject: |
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GREEN
Joined: 22 Apr 2004
Posts: 95
Service Group: CPU
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I would like a blanket! It's so cold coming out of the cloning tank. Again.
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P.S. I am NOT a bot! |
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| Adam-R-LON-1 |
| Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:41 am Post subject: |
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INDIGO
Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 3852
Service Group: HPD&MC
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Two wishes to twist! Hurrah.
AS YOU WISH CITIZEN. FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE YOU WILL FIND YOUR EXTRA ALLOTED REGULATION HELPING OF COLD FUN DELIVERED AND APPLIED TO YOU IN YOUR BUNK AT A RANDOMLY CHOSEN PERIOD DURING THE NIGHT. PLEASE REMAIN FACING THE CEILING WITH YOUR HEAD POSITIONED IN THE CENTRE OF YOUR PILLOW UNTIL THE END OF THE NIGHT SO THE AUTOMATED SPOON SYSTEM MAY FEED YOU CORRECTLY. ENJOY, THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND.
BOTS ARE NOT PERMITTED POSSESSIONS, INCLUDING BLANKETS. PLEASE REMAIN WHERE WHERE YOU ARE. A JACKOBOT WILL ARRIVE SHORTLY TO OPEN YOUR SERVICE HATCH AND PERFORM A MANDATORY INSPECTION OF YOUR ASIMOV CIRCUIT AND THERMAL SENSORS. REFUSING THIS INSPECTION IS PUNISHED BY SUMMARY DEACTIVATION.
Friend Computer, I wish this ridiculous fad of bots pretending to be clones would end.
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For the Glory of Friend Computer! |
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