Paranoia-Live :: View topic - an Origins Paranoia game report with Phobia.

phobia · Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 6:10 pm Post subject:

I attended Origins as the Coordinator of the Cthulhuthon. However, I ran a pickup game of Paranoia for a group of Cthulhu Keepers and a few random suckers late on Saturday Night.

This was the first time I'd ever run Paranoia.

Most of my players had played Paranoia in the past and/or had read some version of the game. At least two of them (the random suckers) seemed to have decent experience with the game. Since its not likely many folks in the Cthulhu circle will be interested in the details of the game itself, I'll post a few details here for y'all to enjoy. I doubt this will do the session justice, which after about the first 5 minutes was non-stop laughter for two and a-half hours. It is also likely that I’ve forgotten a few minor details and told others out of order. Oh well.

Character Generation:

Since I was unprepared, the game began with character generation. I used the flat method and nixed the real specific specialties in favor of getting on with it.

The characters were, in no specific order: Max-R, Bob-R, Nimda-R-pwn, Oblit-R-ATE, Confusion-R, and Limbo-R-616.

Nimda-R died during character generation (the clone required recycling due to decanting mishap) for asking one too many stupid questions and peeking at another player's character sheet. The rest of the group fell in line pretty quickly. Secret Societies and Mutant Powers were handed out in secret; I almost had to punish Oblit-R-ATE for leaving his D20 back at his seat.

Introduction:

The game proper started in the cafeteria area, where bunches of Reds were enjoying their cold fun and algae wafers. After a short public hating via the monitors (when all of my players Booed in tandem), they immediately started trying to turn each other in for not properly “hating” and other stuff. During this scene there were accidents involving spilled cold fun, more booing and other various hijinx.

Oblit-R-ATE killed his secret society contact, suggesting he was guilty of treason. This started a round of argument between Nimda-R and Oblit-R-ATE accusing each other, and was amusing. The others ate their cold fun and algae wafers.

The Briefing Room:

The Computer ended this silliness when It sent all of the troubleshooters a message via PDA (except Nimda-R, whose PDA was malfunctioning) containing instructions to report to the briefing room.

Nimda-R chased after them and saw they were proceeding through a Yellow area. After a bit more confusion, and Nimda-R tricking the IntSec goons into giving him a Red laser barrel, scrub-bots came along and cleaned the hallway, returning it to its correct Red color. Then, he did not quite make it to the briefing room in time, and was locked out. Shortly, Nimda-R was admitted to the room.

In my best WW II Nazi officer voice the briefing was given. It consisted of “Here is the Computer’s Mission. *30 seconds pass* OKAY, Any questions?” Amazingly, no one asked any questions for a few minutes. I stood there, sipping at my beer, waiting for someone to say something.

Finally, Confusion-R muttered: “What was Bob’s part again?” Laughter. More Laughter. I almost spit out/choked to death on my beer. It took me at least 5 minutes recovery time before I could continue with the game.

The briefing officer demanded to know why they hadn’t yet started the mission. Fortunately, he had control of a ceiling mounted laser guns to handle those that mouthed off.

A few dead clones later, the lights went out. Nimda-R and Oblit-R-ATE both sent secret messages to me. Nimda-R wished to secretly soil Oblit-R-ATE’s jumpsuit and Oblit-R-ATE wanted to consume Nimda-R with his Matter-Eater mutant power. This was an easy thing to take care of, they both got their wish and they both got fried (again) by the lasers.

The Mission:

The briefing officer then demanded they complete the paperwork required for the mission. I handed out (random) forms face down, walked to the far away light-switch, informing them that they had 3-minutes to fill them out, and promptly turned out the lights. I also informed the players that the table was wobbling just a bit, while they worked on the forms.

At some point, Oblit-R-ATE lit his lighter, of course a treasonous act, and was lit ablaze by the laser guns. This gave the rest of the group just barely enough light to work out a few more answers on their forms prior to cooling back down to a smolder. Of course, they were happy to also write all over each other’s forms, and make random check marks on their own pages.

Upon the lights coming back on, in proper third-grade fashion, the briefing officer instructed them to pass their forms to the left for “correction.” Bob then began reading Nimda-R’s form aloud, which was a Mutant Registration form. Immediately, The Computer began a line of questioning regarding Nimda-R’s obvious reluctance to report his mutant power previously to this briefing. This prompted Max-R to steal his form back from Oblit-R-ATE, jam it in his mouth and chew it up, with the intent to swallow. After offering him 25 more perversity points if he DID swallow the form, we begged him not actually to do it. He was awarded the Perversity anyway…

Several other amusing things happened, all causing massive amounts of laugher. Most notably for me, this included Max-R sending secret messages such as “I love you” and “Oh great power of light, what is your bidding?” to The Computer. These ended up being “accidentally” sent from Max-R to Limbo-R’s PDA. From this point on Limbo messed hard with Max-R every chance he got. Of course, I was the only one laughing at this. Heh.

Eventually, the players began actually asking what the mission was. Since that specific information was not available, The Computer did inform them that several things would be delivered shortly. This would include a large box, a small box, and a toolbox with a lock.

Upon delivery, Confusion took the lead and began inspecting the boxes, and trying to figure out what they were and how to open them. Confusion-R immediately began trying to open the large box (by chewing on it.) This may have worked, until Nimda-R unhappy with the ineffectiveness of Confusion’s ability to open the box picked up Oblit-R-ATE and began smashing him into the box.

Several clones asked The Computer what was actually in the boxes, to which it replied “A new table, screws, and the tools required to assemble the table.”

While the process of attempting to open the box continued for a short time, it ended with a round of every single clone at the table attempting to point out the treasonous methods each other were using to complete the computer’s assigned mission (fixing the wobbly table.) The accusations from Limbo to Max were especially intense. Since they were all wrong, but Nimda-R’s logic was the best/most twisted, The Computer fried the whole lot of them, except Nimda-R, with the lasers.

New clones delivered, Nimda-R attempted to assault the first clone in the room. He intended to use Bob-R’s (detached) hand to steady the wobbly table. He was unsuccessful due to a large round of Perversity point spending. So instead, he bit off his left index finger and put the severed finger under the table leg that was not touching the floor. Smartly, this solved the problem and “fixed” the table.

Debriefing:

The briefing officer and The Computer began to question the troubleshooters, which forced Nimba-R to remove his bleeding stump from his mouth. Of course, this soiled Nimba’s jumpsuit (with his own blood), and he asked The Computer for a new one. He was given a new jumpsuit which was far too small. He was not however, ordered to actually put on the jumpsuit. He requested a new jumpsuit of the proper size and as he waited for The Computer’s order to put it on the environmental controls began to malfunction, dropping the temperature one degree at a time from the high 60s to 3.

Max-R was ordered, by The Computer, to inspect the thermostat and report the degree it displayed. Max-R stood mere inches from the wall sounding off his count: “It’s 60 Degrees Computer. It’s 59 Degrees Computer. It’s 58 Degrees Computer…”

During the countdown the debriefing continued. Each remaining troubleshooter was asked a different question. To Bob, it was “What were the three most treasonous acts committed during the mission?” To Confusion-R it was “What were the three primary reasons the troubleshooters were unable to use materials provided by The Computer to complete the mission?” Limbo-R was asked: “Why did you not contribute an “effing” thing to the mission?” Finally, Nimda-R was asked: “What would be better to use than his left index finger to repair the table?”

The responses each resulted in a huge round of laughter. Bob gave two completely valid but minor and mundane examples of treason. He then pointed at Max, who was still counting, “And Max skipped degree 37, Computer!” Confusion-R’s best answer was “Oblit-R-ATE made an ineffective box opener.” The Computer decided Confusion’s answers were not accurate and demanded she come up with three more, better, answers. Limbo was unable to answer effectively, still laughing too hard. While his answers were not memorable they were completely truthful, correct and non-treasonous. This resulted in Limbo-R being promoted to Limbo-O and being fined 12.2 million credits for failing to contribute. Nimda-R was happy to point out to The Computer that he had used his right index finger and he felt that was a better choice than his left. The Computer agreed and promoted Nimda-R to Nimda-O. It was then Confusion’s turn to state new answers. She read the same answers she had submitted the first time, The Computer reconsidered that these were in-fact correct, and the debriefing was concluded.